25 Jun 3 Signs It’s Time to Stop Treating Your Divorce Lawyer Like a Therapist
Divorce creates a virtual whirlwind of emotions inside people going through the process. Whether it is a clean or messy divorce, there are sure to be at least a good handful of stress factors that you will be juggling on a day to day basis. With so many emotions always running through your head, you may have an intense urge to talk to anyone and everyone about your feelings. Keeping those feelings inside can be both painful and stressful.
Depending on the state of your divorce, many good friends or family members may become closer or more distant from you than ever. In an ideal situation, you will have frequent contact with people who can guide you through this rough patch with an insight that you consider valuable. Additionally, seeing a licensed therapist during this time of need can help sort out emotions and allow you to talk openly about problems you feel uncomfortable discussing with loved ones.
Ultimately, you should be looking for the emotional outlet that is most effective for you. However, there is one person that you should absolutely avoid treating as your therapist or main emotional support: your lawyer. While your attorney is likely to care about you and your situation, they simply have to stay as detached as possible to do their job appropriately. Putting them into awkward or unprofessional scenarios can be difficult for them as well as you. Additionally, you do not want to overstay your time with an attorney to simply release your feelings onto them.
Times are tough, but you can never afford to stop being realistic about the reality of your divorce. Keeping emotions locked up inside of your psyche is unhealthy, and you should always find an effective and healthy venting source. While your lawyer should not be an option, you should have many other potential outlet routes available to you. If all else fails, hiring a therapist can be a worthwhile investment in your mental health.
Knowing whether or not you are becoming over-dependent on emotional support from your lawyer can be tricky, however. A professional attorney should be prepared to tell you if things are getting too personal or unprofessional, but you should always be aware of your actions as well. If you are concerned that you may be treating your divorce lawyer like your therapist, the time to stop is now. Here are 3 helpful tips that will help you determine if you need to alter your behavior.
Your Questions are Becoming More and More About Personal Advice as Opposed to Legal Advice
When you stop asking your attorney which paperwork needs to be completed and start asking them about aspects of your personal life, it may be time to draw yourself back a bit. While divorce lawyers have the ethical duty to tell clients when they are becoming too friendly with them (as in romantically), avoiding this uncomfortable situation can save both parties an awkward conversation.
You Are Calling your Attorney at Times When it is not Necessary
Don’t call up your lawyer unless you have relevant information to share or have serious inquiries about a procedure involved with the divorce process. If you are calling just to chat or are merely seeking emotional support, you can be assured that you are getting into an unprofessional territory. Often you may be paying for these phone calls, so you should not waste you or your attorney’s time with trivial or emotionally motivated conversations. Ultimately, both that time and money could be better spent hiring a therapist to walk you through your grief and frustrations.
Your Attorney has to Constantly Refocus your Attention during Meetings
If you are tending to ramble on about the personal details of situations, instead of focusing on the hard facts of the case, you are putting your best interests in jeopardy. Once again, you are wasting valuable time and money due to your inability to differentiate between a therapist and an attorney. Being able to stay focused on the relevant facts, and not on emotional or personal hang-ups, will be significant in getting what you need out of the divorce.
Now that you have an idea of what behavior you should avoid, you should be able to keep from treating your divorce lawyer as a therapist. Keep connected with those you love, as well as mental health professionals to guarantee you are not emotionally burdened by your divorce procedures.
Overall, having an emotional outlet apart from your divorce lawyer is crucial. Being able to unload feelings and frustrations in a safe and appropriate place will help you navigate your divorce in a more successful fashion. If you feel you need someone to talk to about your emotional concerns, your attorney can help you locate an appropriate and worthwhile therapists. Ultimately, this is how your attorney can best serve you in these trying times.