09 Aug How to Explain The Concept of a Divorce Lawyer to Your Children
Divorces: when they go wrong, divorces can be downright nightmarish. Your emotions are running high. Everything in your life, from your household to your relationships to your financial situation, is changing quickly. For parents, particularly those of younger children, all of that chaos can be even more challenging. Not only do you have to go through the divorce yourself, but you also have to think of the best possible way to explain it to your child. Your child may also not be familiar with the divorce process and may be completely overwhelmed with all of the big changes and new people in his/her life
It may be particularly challenging for young children to understand that each of their parents may need a divorce lawyer in order to communicate and negotiate on their behalf. Think about it from a kid’s perspective, and the whole idea of a divorce lawyer is pretty outlandish. Even young children notice that past fights or disagreements between parents never resulted in lawyers getting involved, and the realization of the importance of an attorney’s role in the process can be elusive to the youngest children of divorcing parents. So how can you explain divorce lawyers to children? How can you convey the importance of a divorce lawyer to even the youngest children? Here are our 4 tips for explaining a divorce lawyer to children impacted by divorce:
1. Speak With Empathy
Even if you are speaking with very young kids about your new divorce lawyer, a touch of empathy and understanding will go a long way in helping you reach the right tone to discuss the big changes that are happening.
2. Use Analogies
If you are speaking with very young kids in the 5-8-year-old range, analogies can be very helpful in explaining what a lawyer is and what a divorce lawyer does. Your younger children might not have a very clear concept of what a lawyer does, so comparing your divorce lawyer yo something tangible that your kid can understand is a great tactic. The metaphor that you use will depend on your child’s interests and their level of understanding related to divorce. Sports metaphors can be a good bet, or relate your lawyer to a teacher in the classroom, who is going to help you and another student settle an argument that the principal (or judge) will ultimately decide on. Get creative, and use analogies that apply to your child.
3. Be Direct About a Lawyer’s Benefits
If your children have heard of lawyers before, they may have a negative image of what a lawyer does in their minds. They may have only exposed the idea of an attorney through television or other media which sometimes portray them as being akin to gladiators. Which is why when you are talking to your children about what a divorce lawyer is, you want to be direct about the benefits that having a lawyer will provide your whole family. It is important that your children understand that attorneys are involved in these matters in order to help ensure that their parents do not argue about the matter. Explain to your children that a lawyer is there so that everyone can be as happy as possible after everything is over. Focus on the ways that a good lawyer will stop parents from fighting, as they will help settle things quickly and fairly. When explaining your divorce lawyer’s roles, focus on the positives, and the ways that this new and potentially intimidating person in your child’s life is really there to make everything easier for your family.
4. Don’t Speak Negatively
While many children will have no idea what a divorce lawyer is, and will need to be walked through the whole idea of a lawyer from the beginning, some (older) kids will have a good idea already of what a lawyer does. The worst thing you can do is to speak negatively about their other parent’s attorney – or the other parent for that matter.
It is important for the children to know that no piece of paper, or man in a suit, can make either parent care any less about their children. Family law attorneys are there in order to help alter the legal structure of the family in order to help the members of the family lead happier and healthier lives.