25 Apr 10 Facts About Divorce That Will Put You in a Good Mood
The word divorce often leaves a bad taste in your mouth. It simply has a bad connotation often accompanying the assumption that the ending of a marriage is always a negative thing. Divorce is extremely stressful, so it is important to take an objective view on the topic. While it is easy to dwell on the negative, these ten facts about divorce should help to give you some perspective about the subject.
1. You’re not stuck in your marriage
While there is probably not a single married couple out there that planned on divorcing upon taking their vows, the fact of the matter is – divorce happens. People change, life happens, and not all marriages are able to withstand these stressors. Many married couples stay together, despite their misery, because they fail to consider divorce as an option. One very reassuring concept about divorce; you’re not stuck. Divorce provides an escape from a miserable and unhappy marriage. You can take comfort in knowing that a divorce is an option, and no one is stuck being unhappy. Divorce isn’t always detrimental and shouldn’t be viewed negatively. It happens, and it’s a means of freeing both parties involved.
2. You’re not alone
If you’re facing a divorce or struggling with an unhappy marriage, you may feel like you’re alone. To you, it may seem like everyone else has a great marriage, and you’re the only one with problems. The truth is, that idea couldn’t be farther from the truth. Millions of people struggle with marital problems and the number of marriages that end each year is profound. Hundreds of thousands of people deal with divorce on a daily basis in the United States. You’re not the only one to experience this. By reaching out to family and friends, it becomes easier to see how profound divorce is how many people have dealt with the loss of a marriage.
3. It’s not your fault
One of the reasons divorce leaves such a bad taste in your mouth is because it’s immediately associated with blame. One spouse lied, cheated, or left. Or the other spouse was conniving and disrespectful. Regardless of the situation, whenever we hear divorce, we jump to conclusions and blame. This is one of the most important things to remember, and certainly, something to improve your mood about divorce is this: It’s not your fault! The divorce is not your fault. It’s not his fault. A marriage is a joint affair. People who are mentally healthy recognize that the ending of marriage required the participation of both spouses. It’s not your fault. Accepting that the divorce is not the fault of anyone, and rather the result of two people who struggled to make it work, is the first step in healing.
4. This process is not going to take forever
Hallelujah! This statement is what everyone wants to hear! Going through a divorce doesn’t take ten years. It may take a couple of months or several months, but one thing is certain; it’s not going to take forever. Filing for divorce means there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Negotiating the terms of the divorce including child support, spousal support, asset division, etc., can be time-consuming. However, if both spouses are willing to communicate and compromise, the entire process can be done relatively quickly. A marital settlement agreement can be written by a lawyer and signed by both parties outside of court. Then the agreement just needs to be approved by the judge and the divorce is done. If the spouses are unable to agree on the terms of the divorce, there is a good chance that a trial will result. This can lengthen the process of the proceedings. Marital settlement agreement or court trial; the divorce isn’t going to take up the next ten years of your life. There is an end!
5. The kids will be just fine
The first thought to come to mind of a divorcing parent is, “how will this impact my children”. And, this is a very legitimate question. The ages of the children can impact the ways in which they may be affected. The great thing about kids, however, is their profound resiliency. They may struggle initially with the divorce or separation, however, if they are provided with a secure environment and are supported by two loving parents (regardless of if they are together), they will be just fine. There are huge percentages of children with divorced parents, all of who are well-developed, well-adjusted, and emotionally stable. Communicating with the kids throughout the process, being supportive and loving are the keys to ensuring the children come through the divorce unscathed. They will take cues from their parents, especially negative talk about the other parent. Be an adult about the situation, respect your ex-spouse and support your child’s relationship with him/her. Co-parenting is the best method to raise children in a divorce.
6. You will be just fine
While you might not feel like it sometimes, you’re going to make it through the divorce, and you’re going to be just fine. Divorce is emotionally draining not to mention heartbreaking. The loss of a marriage represents a significant loss in an individual’s life. It’s not a light situation and rather represents something severe. The loss of a marriage, just like any other loss, needs to be mourned. Dealing with the emotions surrounding your ex-spouse and the divorce is essential to your emotional health. Letting go of the past and moving forward and towards the future are part of the healing process. It won’t be easy, but with perseverance and a little faith, you will make it through the divorce just fine.
7. There is a good chance you will find love again
There is a great chance that you’re going to find love again. A huge percentage of divorcees go on to get married again, and if not re-married, they go on to other serious relationships. Your marriage didn’t work out. So what. You’re not broken, and it doesn’t mean that you’re incapable of having a relationship. You’re not destined to be alone. If anything, you’re divorce has taught you what not to do in a relationship. This can help you along in your later relationships. The chances for love after divorce are excellent.
8. You are free
One of the most mood-boosting divorce facts is this: You’re free! You’re no longer trapped in an unhappy marriage. Divorce can set you free from a relationship that you were miserable in. You have the ability to have a new, fresh beginning. You’re free from the past and the previous relationships that have held you back. Free to plunge forward to new beginnings and happy endings!
9. This will be a growth process
Going through a divorce has the ability to teach you so many things you never knew about yourself. You’ll discover your strength, your willpower, and your bravery. You’ll learn that you don’t need to depend on anyone else and can make it without your ex. You’ll gain humility and won’t be afraid to ask for help from family and friends that love and care about you. All life experiences have the profound ability to shape the people we are and the people we are to become. Divorce can shape you into a strong, resilient, and happier individual. You can become a better parent, partner, and person in general. You will learn from divorce, and you will grow personally.
10. There is life after divorce
Life will go on after your divorce. Maybe you never imagined your life this way, that doesn’t mean that it’s not going to be awesome! Life after divorce means that you’re free from your demons and have access to a fresh start. You are a stronger person and can face whatever comes your way. There is absolutely life, love, and happiness after a divorce.
Divorce isn’t a negative word, and it certainly doesn’t always signify a negative situation. Some divorces are amicable, and even when they’re not, the divorce is happening for a reason. People grow apart, and situations arise that no one could have ever expected. Regardless of the situation, marriages end but people are able to move past them. When a marriage ends, it can be heartbreaking. The process that ensues after can be an emotional roller coaster. However, the divorce doesn’t last forever, and it shapes the parties involved with stronger people. It provides ample opportunity for growth as well as the freedom to move on to bigger, better things. Divorce may signify the ending of a marriage, but it also represents the beginning of life’s next chapter.