09 Mar 5 Tips for Getting Through Divorce with Your Health Intact
Getting through divorce. A divorce can be a devastating, and life-changing event. It affects nearly all areas of our lives; our family, our friends and even our body and mind if we’re not careful. There are many things you can do in order to ensure that the ending of your marriage is only the beginning of your new life. The following tips will help you get through divorce with your health intact!
1. Take care of your body
Divorce can be physically and emotionally draining. You may be working longer hours now that you’re operating a household on one income, or perhaps now have greater responsibilities as a parent. One thing is sure; your circumstances have changed in some way and have required some physical changes, schedule differences or other adjustments on your part. In order to deal with these new changes, it is imperative to pay attention to your body and to take care of your physical health.
The most important physical aspects to look at are your sleep, your diet, and exercise. Adequate, quality sleep is necessary to the optimal functioning of your brain. It’s important to make time to relax and ensure that you can shut your brain off when it’s time to sleep. If falling asleep is something that you struggle with, you should talk to your health care provider or a counselor to help you regain control of this area of your life. Your body needs sleep and rest to get you through this divorce.
A healthy, balanced diet sounds like something that should play no role in helping you through your divorce. But, it does. Eating well-balanced, and nutritious meals will make you feel better as well as keep you from getting sick. Your physical health is important, and eating well plays an enormous role in it.
Regular physical activity is extremely beneficial for your health. But, be careful not to overdo it. Taking on new roles can be exhausting. Remain active but don’t drain yourself by doing too much.
2. Be mindful of your mental health
Divorce is mentally and emotionally exhausting. It is very easy to get so caught up in life changes occurring through a divorce to the point that you don’t allow your mind the time to process what’s going on. Dealing with the loss of your marriage is one of these changes.
The loss of your relationship with your ex-spouse is just that, a loss and requires that you go through the grieving process. It’s okay to feel anger, denial and depression as well as to bargain prior to coming to accept the loss. These five stages of grief can occur in any order and for various lengths of time. Everyone grieves differently. Regardless of the situation surrounding your divorce, losing that relationship warrants time to grieve and heal.
The changes that accompany a divorce can be very difficult to manage. This transition can be made much smoother with the aid of a counselor or therapist. This type of professional can help you learn new methods of coping and managing the new challenges in your life.
Another critical aspect of your mental health is making time for you. Never become so busy that you don’t take just a few minutes a day doing something for you. Whether this is accomplished by reading, listening to music or taking bath – you need time away from the kids, the dog, work, and the other chaos that is your life. You time is paramount to your mental health.
3. Stay active socially
Friends and having a social life play a big role in your health. Make an effort to continue to see your friends. Even if you feel down or depressed about your situation, don’t become a hermit. Having the support of other people in your life is necessary at this time. Don’t push them away, reconnect with them and allow them to be supportive when you need it most.
Unfortunately, divorce can change many of your relationships. You and your spouse likely shared friends through the years, which upon your separation may end up choosing one spouse or the other. This is tough to deal with, but is standard in spousal separation. You may lose or become distant from some of your friends, but not all of them will choose sides. Don’t allow yourself to dwell too much on the friendships you have lost as a result of the divorce, it’s like those people weren’t your real friends to begin with.
As you make it through the grieving process, you may find it helpful to find new social activities or hobbies with which to become involved. Perhaps joining an exercise class at the YMCA or a club at your local library. Making new friends and staying socially engaged will help you through this process. A support group for divorcees is another excellent option to consider.
4. Let go of the past
Dealing with your past will be one of the biggest challenges to getting through your divorce. You may struggle with your mental health, depression, self-esteem and relationships if you are unable to let go of the past. You will have to face some things with which you don’t want to deal.
Letting go of the past does not mean forgetting the wrongdoings that have occurred, but rather acknowledging them and making a commitment to no longer allow them to impact your life. Regardless of the situation surrounding your divorce, you must be mentally strong enough to acknowledge what occurred and make the decision to no longer allow it to impact your life. Learn from your experience, don’t forget them but understand that they do not define who you are today and where you are going.
A therapist or counselor can be particularly useful in guiding you through the coping skills necessary to move on from your past. They can provide support, guidance, and a listening ear. If you struggle in this area, seeking professional help would be a good choice.
5. Plan for your future.
The changes in your life that are brought about by your divorce, are setting you up for a new future. Part of your future and your healing involves finding a new identity. This means learning to be by yourself (and being ok with that), developing new friendships and sometimes finding a new place to call home. All of these things can sound very intimidating and scary, but will happen throughout the course of your divorce. These positive changes can help you redefine you are who are who you want to be. Divorce can be an excellent opportunity to change your life for the better.
If you’re in the early stages of your separation and divorce, you may be feeling depressed, in disarray and fearful. Don’t allow these feelings to overcome you. The loss of your marriage is a bump in the road and does not define your future. By moving through the grieving process, dealing with your past and doing your best to stay physically and mentally healthy, you can get through divorce, and have a bright future on the other side of it!
Being optimistic about your future will help you get through divorce with your health intact. Your divorce does not define you. You have the opportunity to redefine yourself and what you want.
The loss of your marriage and the process of your divorce can be a very traumatic event. It has potential to change nearly every aspect of your life; where you live, who you spend your time with, and what your future holds. Getting through this process with your health intact means not ignoring your most valuable assets; your body and your mind. You must take the time to adequately take care of your body and to nurture your spirit. This may involve seeing your doctor or therapist as well as continuing to be physically active and taking time out of the day in order to reflect on yourself.
You will grieve the loss of your marriage and this is completely normal. You will lose friends, and you will make friends. You will learn to be ok with being alone and will become a stronger person because of it. Your divorce does not define you or your future. It is a bump in the road that provides you with experience, knowledge and the possibility for a brighter future. You will get through this divorce!